A date with irony, a short story

The pitter-patter of the rain filled the void of silence in the bus. Lisa Springs, a 28 year-old designer, stared out the foggy widow into the darkness of the streets.
“I can’t wait ‘til I get home” she thought, “He’s the only bright spot of my day. He’s my rainbow after the storm.”
She reached up to ring the bell as the bus approached her stop. The bus stopped right in front of her small one-bedroom apartment, located in a nice middle class neighbourhood. Lisa stepped off the bus and reached into her pocket. The keys jangled a little as she fumbled through various receipts and lint in her pocket. She unlocked the door to find a dark and empty apartment.
“Shawn? Honey?” she called out. No response. She dropped all of her bags onto the ground and went straight for the kitchen. After a day of hard work, her only relief was Shawn and Haagen-Dazs. Lisa turned on the kitchen light and found a note attached to the door of the fridge.
It read:
Dear Lisa,
I’ve been sent to a business conference for the week. I think this is a perfect time for us to be apart because as we both know, things haven’t been going so smoothly between us. I’m going to be doing some serious thinking about us and I hope we can have a talk when I get back.
Love, Shawn
Lisa dropped the note in shock.
“I don’t understand it. Things are going great between us, what could ever be the problem?”
Lisa picked the note back up, and read it again to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. This time she read the end part that she had missed.
P.S. Is it OK if the guys still come over on Sunday to watch the game?
“The nerve of this guy to leave this kind of note and still invite his friends over to my apartment to watch their beloved game!” She paused. Maybe she should let them come. After all, this wasn’t the best of times to be alienating his friends. She couldn’t risk angering Shawn any more.
Two days later, and about 500 tear-soaked tissues later, Lisa was ready for Shawn’s friends to arrive for the game. She was actually awaiting this because she realized that it was an excellent opportunity to get some information from them about what Shawn was thinking about before he left. Lisa had a very odd relationship with Shawn’s friends. Lisa pretended to like them to please Shawn and they pretended to like her because of her big screen TV. The result was very awkward and fake conversations. Mid-way through the game, Lisa popped the question to them: “Hey, has Shawn said anything about me lately?”
The guys all looked at each other as if they were saying, “Uh oh here it comes”.
“Well, he has said he’s a little unhappy with you” replied Terrence, Shawn’s closest friend.
“But what’s the problem?! Please tell me, I’ll die without him!” she exclaimed.
“See! That’s exactly it, you’re too into him. Besides, he said most of the love is gone and you guys don’t have much in common anyways.”
“Alright, alright. Just tell me what to do, give me one last chance to prove to him that he still loves me.”
Another one of Shawn’s friends, interrupted the conversation.
“You know what you need, an elaborate scheme to get him back” he said.
“Yeah,” Terrence said, “Frank’s always been the smart one out of all of us.”
“Well what do you propose?” Lisa asked.
Frank looked to the ceiling as if he were in deep thought. “Well one time I was one this Internet relationship site and I met this really great girl. Long story short, it turns out that that woman was my mom.
Terence picked up that idea, “So you’re saying Lisa should go on an Internet relationship site and pretend to be another woman. Then talk to Shawn, make him fall I love with her, and reveal who she really is.”
“No I just thought that was a really cool story. But yeah, that’s a good idea.”
It wasn’t.
So the guys agreed to help Lisa, mainly for the big screen TV, but also because she deserved to be with him.
The next day, Terrence called Lisa and told her that Shawn agreed to join a site to look for someone new. Although she was a little disappointed that he was so into the idea, she was anxious to see if the plan would work.
A couple days later, Shawn logged into his account. There were only two women who had answered his ad. One was Lisa, under the name of “Miss P3rfect”, and the other was a 90 year-old woman named Mrs. Nee.
“Yikes, I’d better check out this ‘perfect’ girl” Shawn said. As the two exchanged messages, Shawn began to like her more and more. This was thanks to the fact that Terrence was helping Lisa with what to say, sometimes writing most of the messages for her. Numerous messages later, the week was over and Shawn returned home. As soon as he got home, he sat Lisa down for ‘the talk’.
“Look, we’ve had our fun but I really think its time to move on. I’m gonna be direct. I’ve met another woman on the Internet.”
Lisa tried her best to contain her smile. The plan had actually worked and she couldn’t wait to tell him her secret. This must’ve been the easiest breakup ever.
“But I still like its unfair to you” Shawn continued, “And I don’t think I can go through with this unless you are absolutely one hundred percent fine with it”
Normally, any woman would reply with: “Are you out of your mind? NO!” But of course, this was no ordinary situation.
“Sure Shawn. I realize that you need to be with someone who’s perfect for you. This girl from the Internet seems like just that and you should go for it.”
“That’s great, because I’d like you to meet her”
“I have a feeling that she’s right here”
“That’s impossible, because she’s just outside this door”
Lisa’s jaw dropped. Was she hearing right?
“Were there any other girls on the Internet?” she asked.
“Just one, she and I got along really well. She’s exactly like my friend Terrence, but I mean, who would want to date his best friend. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with Ira.”
As Shawn left the door and her life, Lisa sat on the couch and realized that it was her, not Shawn that truly had a date with Ira Nee.